Saturday, August 4, 2012

We Found More Stupidity Which Lead Us To Newquay and the Case of the Rude Inflatable.

Newquay Police operate a zero tolerance policy when it comes down to offensive inflatables
TonyN is a tireless researcher and quite frankly I don't know what I would do without people like him, Brute, AlanS and all of the others that help make this blog happen. This morning Tony emailed with the news that the London Criminal Courts Solicitors Association are running an on-line survey get opinions on whether or not lap dancing and strip tease venues the main cause of sexual assaults.

Yes I know it's amazing isn't it that they could be so stupid and we have to assume that Object have been all over this and we need to respond. Its a simple 'Yes - No' choice so I ask that you visit the survey and and vote according to your views. It can be found here.

The survey was inspired by the ludicrous assertion of Insp. Ian Drummond-Smith of Newquay Police that clubs are the cause of sexual assaults. Drummond-Smith was opposing the licensing application of 'Kiss', which would have been the towns second lap dancing club had it not been turned down. His letter of objection included the view that lap-dancing clubs in Newquay have "contributed" to 14 rapes and 34 sexual assaults since 2010.

So anyway after the license application had been turned down, it was truly amazing to see Drummond-Smith back pedal so furiously that he would a won a gold medal in the Olympics had it been a recognised sport....

Well according to the newspaper reports at the time, he was quoting figures but only when challenged by an Freedom Of Information request did he admit that he had nothing at all to prove his assertions and was left standing holding his personal morality for all to see. I say personal morality because once again we see that someone is worried about the proximity of clubs to churches and that is always a bad sign. Nonetheless I became fascinated by the Inspector and started to look at him in more depth...

In an article that revealed his prohibitionist stance he use an interesting you see it in the above frame grab?

'Sexually charged men' is the phrase and it is only used by prohibitionists. I seem to recall that Charlie Dacke used it in her campaign against clubs in Portsmouth and I know that Tom Copley used it in his article supporting the closure of clubs in Tower Hamlets. Its not exactly evidence I know, but when combined with everything else, it makes me question Drummond-Smiths motivations. But its not the best thing I found.....

So Newquay Police launched a safer streets initiative, which is a good idea, but when you consider that an integral part of the campaign was the confiscation of 'inflatables likely to cause offence' and the banning of 'manikinis' , yes you read that correctly, you have to wonder about the sanity of those involved in the initiative. So its comes as no surprise that Drummond-Smith was deeply involved and said that 'rude inflatables or mankinis aren't welcome in town'.

What is a 'rude inflatable'?

Lets do a Google Search....

Well I found this, which means that if you are caught with an inflatable sheep in Newquay, it will be confiscated....

Now lets look at mankinis, because Drummond-Smith banned them as well.....

Seriously, you can be arrested for wearing one of these in Newquay. I admit that only an idiot would be seen on the beach in one, but a police driven campaign to ensure they are banned along with 'inflatables likely to cause offence' tells me that there is something very wrong in Newquay.

Going back to the issue of lap dancing clubs, I find it amazing that Drummond-Smith was taken seriously when he linked lapdancing clubs with sex crime, because of the article below.....

So this is the summary....

In 2010 Police figures clearly demonstrate that cases of sexual assault in Newquay dropped by 50% since the first lap dancing clubs opened....

In 2011, Inspector Ian Drummond-Smith launches a campaign that targets 'inflatables likely to cause offence' and mankinis.

In 2012, Insp Drummond-Smith opposes the opening of the resorts second lap dancing club on the basis that its too close to a church and that clubs in general are linked to sex crimes. Later he retracts the assertion about sex crime when he admits he has no evidence to support his views....
Drummond-Smith will take your inflatable if its likely to cause offence 

Even I cannot believe what I have been writing today, but its all true and quite frankly, deeply disturbing. I mean is there an actual crime on the statute books about being in possession of an offensive inflatable? I doubt it somehow. Yet Newquay Police are spending the summer scanning the beaches for mankinis and these mysterious inflatables. There is just no way I would go there because I somehow doubt I would survive as its all a bit 'Deliverance' isn't it?

Oh, don't forget to complete the survey, because we don't want maniacs like those in Newquay to have any more ammunition, do we?


  1. I find it amazing that this man who has been working in Newquay for some time has resorted to creating information. He has been quoted in the past about the underage drinking and drugs in the town and surely realises it is the "normal" bars and clubs that cause problems.

    Still at least inflatable sheep are now safe.

  2. It's like having James Anderton on the beat all over again!

  3. I live in Newquay. The ban on inflatables relates to stag groups carrying huge inflatbale penises in the town centre and mankins not on the beach but again in the town centre. Do we really want to see those items in the afternoon, when families with kids are trying to enjoy the resort?

    Get a life. The ban was asked for by residents and the police just did what we asked. It was a good policy and you have clearly not researched it very well. Don't believe everything you read in the press.

    1. People are welcome to comment on postings, but I think its advisable to at least make an effort to understand what it is being written about before making a comment. I really do not care about inflatable penises or mankinis, the point of the article was that Inspector Drummond-Smith gave evidence in a licensing hearing that had no foundation in fact, something that he later had to admit.

      In terms of research, I accessed available media and quite frankly if that was inaccurate I ask why no one made any effort to correct it. Out of interest, how many inflatable penises were confiscated? How many mankini wearers were intercepted? It sounds like you have a plague of them You recommend that I 'get a life', I have one, or at least the one that I have isn't invested in spotting blow-up cocks.


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