Sunday, June 30, 2013

Morons and their Cameras

"His watch is really a radio, his gun a pen"
'Spyworld' - Wall of Voodoo

Hi There

This is Chasmal and before I get onto the subject in hand, I just want to say thanks to TonyN for his sterling work on the blog. Those that know me personally will be aware that my life has changed considerably in recent months and as a result I do not have the time to devote to the blog that it deserves. To be honest, at the start of the year I felt that the battle was over, bar some shouting and that we had won. Recent months have proven that this was not the case and that this blog can still play a part in highlighting prohibitionist campaigns.

Now onto the article. I still manage to visit clubs and last week and I standing happily at the bar in one when I learned that a dancer had confiscated some kind of filming device that was being used by a customer to secretly film stand performances. I had a look at the camera, it was essentially a pen with a lens and a USB device. I found it quite ingenious and at the same time, really very disturbing and therefore decided to present  a guide to spotting these devices and the morons that use them in clubs to film dancers.

But why do I think that secret filmers are morons?

Well if I took one of these devices in a club and stated to film customers and then publish my footage on the internet, I would quite rightly be held to account. So I take to the view that the customer who was filming (and I don't care what he planned to do with the film) was not only a moron, but a hypocrite as well and was delighted that he had lost his camera pen.

The whole incident worried me, so I started to do some research on the matter in order to be able to present  my guide to 'Morons and Their Cameras'.

Morons can be hard to spot, but their cameras can be well hidden as this guide will demonstrate.

Irrespective of how the camera has been disguised, if it is to function it will need an opening for the lens and that will always give the game away, its just a case of being observant.

The Super Secret Spy Camera Pen

 As you can see it looks like a pen and writes as well, but it is somewhat on the large side. That said for it to work is needs to be securely mounted in a pocket and close examination will always reveal the hole for the lens. The 'close examination' can be done during the jug collection I imagine.

So pen cameras are chunky, usually pocket mounted and of course feature a lens. Actually maybe they don't have to be pocket mounted, maybe the pen could be hand held so maybe we should be looking for people brandishing a pen mid crossword completion and holding their pen very still for the duration of a stage performance.

Sadly, secret recording devices become harder to spot from this point...

The Super Secret Smiley Badge Cam.

 This is tricky because its well disguised, but the game is given away by the opening for the lens..

Secret Spy Glasses

 These to me seem easier to spot because the presence of the lens means that frame must be bulkier and the lens opening would seem to be more obvious. In the shot below we can see the lens has been hidden in the bridge of the frame...

In the shot above we can see that the camera has been built into the arm of the frame. The thickness of the arms should make such a device easy to spot.

The Ultra Sneaky Button Camera

This is tricky, however the button will probably not resemble its companions on the jacket and the lens opening makes it suspicious for anyone who is being observant. Also I guess this device would leave a bulge in the jacket of anyone who is wearing it.

The Secret Watch Camera

This kind of kit seems difficult to spot, but we can see that the watch sees larger than average and for it to be used it would have to be noticeably angled toward the stage area.

In summary, I have to say that if a moron is sufficiently determined to film in a club, then there is not much to be done about it, but careful observation of customer behavior and a close look when collecting should prevent most people from adding to their collection of private videos. Most of the kit featured in this article costs between £25.00 to £70.00 and you can imagine that secret dancer recorders would be reluctant to invest more money than this because they know there is a risk that they will lose their camera. My best guess is what would be deployed in a club would be from the cheaper end of the market.

I think that the best rule of thumb is that if as a dancer you believe that someone is filming you, then they probably are.

Dancers don't tend to advertise the fact about what they do for a living. Those that have have suffered campaigns of abuse from the more unhinged members of well known 'human rights' groups, so anyone that films a dancer at work is knowingly putting them at risk. As customers we owe it ourselves to be equally vigilant, because it might not just the dancers face that is featured on one of these sneaky videos.

Finally, you may wish to go back to 2008 when an arsehole called Peter Crystal started hanging round lap dancing clubs with hidden equipment such that presented in this article in order produce footage for an expose 'Shock Horror Clubs Have Naked Women' episode of 'Despatches'. He did this on the behest of two other aresholes, Janice Finch and Steve Boulton, who were the episodes producer and executive producer respectively.

I take the view that if we know about something we can deal with it. Lets keep our eyes open and deal with this problem firmly.


  1. The main "risk" to the dancers is getting cought by the tax office and / or social security.
    Those dancers are racking it in, dont pay a cent in tax and collect unemployment benefit or what have you.
    I dont feel sorry for the poor souls.
    BTW, what legal right a club has to confiscate equipment and presumably not returning it?

    1. Well firstly as far as I know the dancers pax tax, they have to because they need to show income for mortgages so someone here doesn't actually know but is guessing.
      As to the confiscation people are warned that no filming is allowed on the premises (big notices around the walls) and equipment will be confiscated so the people know the risks. It is alright with phones as you can check if there are pictures or videos but this is not the case with these items which are there for one purpose.

      There you may have actually learned something.

  2. I know personally couple of strip club dancers (in Australia) and have a fairly good understanding of the situation.
    The only income they show is the unemployment benefits they collect at the expense of the suffering, hard working honest tax payer.
    You know as well as I do that if the tax office, social security and immigration raid the strip clubs then they will all shut down overnight.

    Im also far from being convinced that a sign saying "no photography" gives a club the legal right to confiscate equipment but this will probably will have to be tested in court.

    1. So a good understanding of Australia, okay and you are so certain it applies in the UK? Well guess you must have some good evidence to show us all?

      Well we can wait for the first test case then, in fact I am looking forward to it.

  3. Well, well - someone in the 'anti' camp is resorting to crude smear tactics once again! Surprised?

    1. Not really, I hope I have made enough enemies that a few of them come over here and make fools of themselves

    2. Well said GSOB.

      I notice the "Anonymous" smearer has now shut, having been exposed.

    3. A familiar cycle: a smearmonger arrives and starts making unsupportable accusations (in this instance, about dancers in the wrong country for this blog!), but disappears as soon as people start asking for evidence. It happens so often that it's become thoroughly boring! Do these people imagine that either we or the general public were born yesterday?

  4. I love the idea about the confiscation of equipment being tested in court. I cannot wait for someone to instruct a solicitor regarding their lost camera and having to reveal the circumstances that lead to its loss.

  5. I wouldnt have any hesitation calling the police in the first place if the club tried to confiscate my spy camera.
    They would love the publicity in the press...
    So far I havent been cought LOL

    1. If that was true then you enjoy spending your money :D

  6. To be fair like, all the footage I've got is for my private use (ok, I showed my friends..) but if they try to confiscate my equipment then all the stuff goes online...

    I have very little sympathy for the dole bludgers, tax cheats and illgal workers employed in the strip clubs.
    Even less so for the criminals running the joints.

    1. More groundless smears, and what looks like a threat of blackmail! Are you actually familiar with the law, 'Anonymous'? I suggest that you consider your own words and actions, before calling anybody else a 'criminal'...

    2. At least you're not denying that your workers are bludgers, cheats and many illigals among them.
      And what makes you such a legal expert being so sure that you entitled to confiscate private property?
      Out of curiosity I'll ask my solicitor. Shall keep you informed...

    3. Love this guy, apart from knowing not one thing about the industry, he makes up his own fantasies. Please we look forward to the next installment of "I am talking out of my backside".

      If at any point you stumble into the real world do let us know.

  7. I'm far from being a legal expert and arrived here via link from a Thai web site.
    In my opinion if its clearly signed that no photography is allowed (no doubt the case) then the club has the right to confiscate recording equipment, examine it, delete / format the content but MUST return it to the owner within reasonable time, say 5-7 days.

    I also happen to share the views of other anonymous commenters that sex workers (world wide) are avoiding their tax obligations and part of the cash economy.

    My 2 cents worth.

    1. Well I appreciate anyone's two pennies worth of opinion (around 3 cents). I have only seen phone cameras and they are deleted and returned on the spot. These are a much more deliberate equipment guess I see the that as something that needs to be dealt with.

      As to the tax, I can't speak for every dancer but considering they use the income for things like mortgages I would think that would have to be a declared income. Striptease is an interesting industry as due to the no contact regulations it is only visual so the sex label is a bit strange to me personally.

  8. "At least you're not denying that your workers are bludgers, cheats and many illigals [sic] among them."

    Throwing shit in the hope that at least some of it will stick? Even our chimp cousins would recognise that tactic for what it is! Your comments reek of desperation...

    And for your information, striptease venues in the UK are required to carry out visa checks on any of their self-employed workers; in this respect (and several others), striptease is one of the more regulated industries in this country.

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