All Our Past Times

 

It doesn't matter how good something is or how immoveable it seems against the force of entropy, one day it will be gone and so it was with The White Horse.

It's been 5 years now since The White Horse closed its doors for the last time but it still lingers strongly in the memories of everyone that worked, drank or danced there. I cannot recall a pub that's closure affected so many people, so profoundly. 

But why? What was the quality that the pub that makes it still so missed. It's something I've been reflecting on recently and at least from my perspective, I have some answers...

It was a strip pub...

Well,that might seem an obvious answer, but as time passed, the White Horse became a strip pub like no other. It was basically a boozer, the only concession to the dancers was the stage. Essentially, it remained true to its roots and there was something very comforting about that. At times the place seemed to exist outside any time frame. You could easily imagine Regan and Carter from The Sweeney popping in from the 1970s for a beer or six. Look at the interior photos, taken only about 15 years ago but they look as they could have been taken anytime in the last 50. Despite how much you changed, the White Horse never seemed to.

It was a regional local...

There is something about 'your' local, the place where everyone knows you and you know everyone. The White House was that kind of pub, but its regulars were not only those that lived within walking distance, but included people that lived throughout London, the home counties and sometimes further. London can be a very alienating place and that includes the pubs, especially those that have been antiqued with obsessively polished brass and pictures screwed to the walls and worse still, those fake book shelves.The White Horse was real, it had been there for ages and had no need for such moody, fake decoration schemes.

The bar staff were great...

There is something about walking into a pub and finding your pint waiting for you when you sit at the bar. That was a regular experience for me and many other people. Once you became known, you became part of a slightly odd 'family'and was always guaranteed a genuine welcome.

...and so were the dancers.

Mostly anyway. Actually,that's not fair, they were all good people. Mostly. The dancers never hassled customers for dances or drinks as is the norm today. In its final years, private dances were on offer and as a customer you were asked if wanted one. But the dancers never had a strop if you turned them down or turned and walked away halfway through your sentence. Most particularly, if you said no, they never asked you to explain why, because they were bright enough to understand that if such an explanation was forthcoming, they might hear something they didn't want to. They all seemed to be genuinely interesting people from a hugely diverse range of backgrounds and were great to deal with.

I made friendships with White Horse dancers that endure to this day...

It helped me survive the worst of times...

Using alcohol to get through lifes stresses is never recommended, but there was a period of my life about 15 years ago when I was there almost every weekday night. I was in a horrible situation at work and I found I couldn't face what was going on without recourse to evening alcohol and The White Horse. To be honest, coffee would have been fine, it was the place and the time I spent there that helped me through. 

My most enduring memory...

There are so many to choose from, but one in particular seems to stand out, but I don't know why. It was an afternoon. I was sitting at my usual end of the bar spot in an almost empty pub. Slowly the weather changed from a mild day with a white cloudy sky to one that was threatening, the grey cloud getting lower and darker and then the sky opened with rain that rivaled the monsoon with lightning and instant thunder. I was glad to be inside and felt very safe, as if nothing, no force of nature or man could get to me. I don't think I'll feel that way about a pub ever again. 

So The White Horse was unique and brilliant and as they say, it is better to be glad that we were there as opposed to sad that we can't be there anymore. I really can't say anymore about it, however there are a few things I would like to say about the industry in general...

Now that clubs are opening again, we will see what we see about the future of the industry, but I have little doubt it will be a challenging time. During lockdown, a number of venues have closed and many more will be watching the situation very carefully. Clever club owners maximised opportunities to stay open by offering non nude entertainment and this worked very well. There was a sense of relief among regular customers that our favourite venues had survived and once again we could spend an afternoon whiling away the time in familiar surroundings. 

Familiarity is of course the key.

Venues need regular customers more than they need dancers. That doesn't sound very nice, but its true. A club can have the greatest roster of girls in the world, but if no one visits the venue and spends money, there isn't a business, only a liability. So clubs need to look at a strategy that keeps their regulars happy and encourages new business. The way forward should be obvious...

As I said at the beginning of this article, everything changes, everything goes and I have to say that I don't have the appetite to write anymore articles for this blog. When Tony N was alive, there was always something to write, always an article being planned but since his passing, there doesn't seem to be any urgent need to say anything, apart from what I just said. Please note, the email address for the blog will no longer be monitored. Those that know how to contact me directly will still be able to do so.

I have had some memorable times in clubs and I still hope to in the future, but as far as this blog is concerned, I am content to leave things here.

Goodbye and good luck...

Chasmal

Morons and their Cameras

"His watch is really a radio, his gun a pen"

'Spyworld' - Wall of Voodoo

Hi There

This is Chasmal and before I get onto the subject in hand, I just want to say thanks to TonyN for his sterling work on the blog. Those that know me personally will be aware that my life has changed considerably in recent months and as a result I do not have the time to devote to the blog that it deserves. To be honest, at the start of the year I felt that the battle was over, bar some shouting and that we had won. Recent months have proven that this was not the case and that this blog can still play a part in highlighting prohibitionist campaigns.

Now onto the article. I still manage to visit clubs and last week and I standing happily at the bar in one when I learned that a dancer had confiscated some kind of filming device that was being used by a customer to secretly film stand performances. I had a look at the camera, it was essentially a pen with a lens and a USB device. I found it quite ingenious and at the same time, really very disturbing and therefore decided to present  a guide to spotting these devices and the morons that use them in clubs to film dancers.

But why do I think that secret filmers are morons?

Well if I took one of these devices in a club and stated to film customers and then publish my footage on the internet, I would quite rightly be held to account. So I take to the view that the customer who was filming (and I don't care what he planned to do with the film) was not only a moron, but a hypocrite as well and was delighted that he had lost his camera pen.

The whole incident worried me, so I started to do some research on the matter in order to be able to present  my guide to 'Morons and Their Cameras'.

Morons can be hard to spot, but their cameras can be well hidden as this guide will demonstrate.

Irrespective of how the camera has been disguised, if it is to function it will need an opening for the lens and that will always give the game away, its just a case of being observant.

The Super Secret Spy Camera Pen

 As you can see it looks like a pen and writes as well, but it is somewhat on the large side. That said for it to work is needs to be securely mounted in a pocket and close examination will always reveal the hole for the lens. The 'close examination' can be done during the jug collection I imagine.

So pen cameras are chunky, usually pocket mounted and of course feature a lens. Actually maybe they don't have to be pocket mounted, maybe the pen could be hand held so maybe we should be looking for people brandishing a pen mid crossword completion and holding their pen very still for the duration of a stage performance.

Sadly, secret recording devices become harder to spot from this point...

The Super Secret Smiley Badge Cam.

 This is tricky because its well disguised, but the game is given away by the opening for the lens..

Secret Spy Glasses

 These to me seem easier to spot because the presence of the lens means that frame must be bulkier and the lens opening would seem to be more obvious. In the shot below we can see the lens has been hidden in the bridge of the frame...

In the shot above we can see that the camera has been built into the arm of the frame. The thickness of the arms should make such a device easy to spot.

The Ultra Sneaky Button Camera

This is tricky, however the button will probably not resemble its companions on the jacket and the lens opening makes it suspicious for anyone who is being observant. Also I guess this device would leave a bulge in the jacket of anyone who is wearing it.

The Secret Watch Camera

This kind of kit seems difficult to spot, but we can see that the watch sees larger than average and for it to be used it would have to be noticeably angled toward the stage area.

In summary, I have to say that if a moron is sufficiently determined to film in a club, then there is not much to be done about it, but careful observation of customer behavior and a close look when collecting should prevent most people from adding to their collection of private videos. Most of the kit featured in this article costs between £25.00 to £70.00 and you can imagine that secret dancer recorders would be reluctant to invest more money than this because they know there is a risk that they will lose their camera. My best guess is what would be deployed in a club would be from the cheaper end of the market.

I think that the best rule of thumb is that if as a dancer you believe that someone is filming you, then they probably are.

Dancers don't tend to advertise the fact about what they do for a living. Those that have have suffered campaigns of abuse from the more unhinged members of well known 'human rights' groups, so anyone that films a dancer at work is knowingly putting them at risk. As customers we owe it ourselves to be equally vigilant, because it might not just the dancers face that is featured on one of these sneaky videos.

Finally, you may wish to go back to 2008 when an arsehole called Peter Crystal started hanging round lap dancing clubs with hidden equipment such that presented in this article in order produce footage for an expose 'Shock Horror Clubs Have Naked Women' episode of 'Despatches'. He did this on the behest of two other aresholes, Janice Finch and Steve Boulton, who were the episodes producer and executive producer respectively.

I take the view that if we know about something we can deal with it. Lets keep our eyes open and deal with this problem firmly.