Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Random Thoughts and Ideas

So all is currently quiet in the world of SEVs (odds on that will change in the near future) but I have used the time to refresh my batteries a bit and also to look at things to sharpen my mind. Objectification of the disabled, prejudice and hate crimes and thought through why SEVs are good for the community. So I have these brain waves and decided that I want to discuss why SEVs might be linked to the reduction of rape. No I am not claiming it is a definite idea but given the figures I have seen over the years and the fact that my most recent research had a SEV close and rape go up. Before I get into the nitty gritty I want to first look at a quick issue of perspectives. The following two statements come from the same website and I find the similarities interesting and it will relate later in my thoughts.

"I travel to work regularly by bus and this morning this lovely man who is on the bus most days complimented me on how good I looked. Should I ask him out? He smiles at me every day and I have fancied him rotten since the first time he smiled at me."

"There is this creepy guy who gets on the same train as me everyday. He smiles at me most days and I feel my skin creeping. He tried to talk to me today should I report him to the police as I am worried he may be a rapist."

Two very similar situations and it is just the perspective of the person who is under scrutiny that decides how the thing is viewed. So how does this apply to SEVs and why would it imply that it may benefit society by relaxing men? Those of us who have been regulars at clubs and pubs over the years know that we are viewed by some dancers as walking ATMs which is not a problem. The dancers sell the customers a fantasy of they are the most attractive/intelligent/witty guy and they are grateful for our company. Yes it is a fantasy and yes it reflects the desires the average man has. Also we will probably find that the dancers would be considered out of our league outside of the club but for a short period we are the most satisfying company for the dancer. This is calming, it sends a positive and supportive message to us as men and it allows us to escape the world for a little bit.

So why would this potentially reduce rape? Well for me there was a point not so long ago where I went through a massive period of ill health and found myself confined to a wheelchair. I had awful issues with self image particularly body image. I found though that when I went to a strip pub I was treated like every other man. There was no pity, no loathing and no disgust at my looks or personality. I felt like a normal average man for the first time in a couple of years. Obviously now I have become much more relaxed and accepting of my issues but the very negative message that the antis send out about the fantasy dancers portray actually helped me.

Now when you think about it the fantasy that is portrayed in SEVs and how it may affect people you come to realise that the message it sends out is a positive re-enforcement of the individual customers. It would seem that the positive messages and the acceptance of individuals will create a view of the world that is less likely to want to control and rape. In fact the atmosphere of the SEVs, in my humble 20+ years experience, would be almost diametrically opposed to the attitudes that have been described in rapists. We have seen that sexual and violent crimes around SEVs is low and when compared to nightclubs is incredibly low. Assigning issues to clubs is just a lazy attempt to create a fear of something that should be embraced the claims that men will constantly see women as sex object falls apart when we can separate fact from fantasy, maybe we might for 3 minutes see one person as an object of our desires but before and after we engage and talk. In a society where zombies are a cornerstone of a lot of violent fantasies the short term positive message from dancers seems a hell of a lot better.

Of course these are just my thoughts but as I continue to look at crime and in particular sexual crime it seems to me that SEVs actually do good for men and women. I am sure some of the radical feminists will say I am talking out of my backside and I have no empirical proof but then claims about rape being linked to clubs has no proof but doesn't stop people making those claims. Be interested in the views of dancers (or naked social workers as I like to think of them) about this as well customers. Does the positive re-enforcement of the male psyche actually produce a benefit not just to the individual but to society as well, as he feels better about himself? Obviously there will be examples of bad customers just as there will be examples of good customers and a whole raft of in between but the more I look at data and facts about sexual crime the more it appears to be totally disconnected. Okay ramblings over for the time being.

TonyN (

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